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[06 Dec 2005|10:35pm]
No one ever told me life could be this fucking good...
see you at the crossroads

Such a rare and precious find....that I do not deserve! [01 Dec 2005|03:14pm]

Dustin wrote this about us.
And I pretty much almost cried.
It's funny how when you find the right person, it goes so quickly and that feels just right!

~Where Would We Be~

Without the warmth in our hearts,
Without the loving, caring and forgiving part,
Without hopes and dreams,
Without restitching the rips in our seams,
Where, I wonder, where we would be.

Loosing the things we hold so dear,
Loosing the hate we brought through the years,
Loosing a chance to make out better,
Loosing an opportunity to send the last letter,
Without loosing,
Where, I wonder, where we would be.

Trying to stay off the edge,
Trying, but refusing to beg,
Trying not to get stranded in thoughts,
Trying, becoming exactly what we sought,
Without trying,
Hmmm...I wonder if this is what we would be.

by: Dustin Smith

lol the kid writes better than me!!
This is what i have written about us recently

~My Saving Discovery!~

What is this that I have found?
Something so soothing, so sensational.
Something that relaxes the mind to smooth such rugged thoughts,
helping them to flow the way that they were meant to flow,
like a tear that settles into the time engraved grooves of a satin cheek.
Similar to the relationship of wind and dandelion, this has blown me away.
Blowing away my defenses and my uncertainties,
leaving but the core of me.
Bare, so open and vulnerable for hurt,
and yet I am not afraid.
For like any flower I would rather sway freely,
and then eventually be trampled,
then to never have risen from the soil at all...

3 x see you at the crossroads

[25 Nov 2005|01:49am]
[ mood | hmmm ]

How is it that I have found someone so perfect?

I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself lol

It's not working


yay shopping 2marrow!

see you at the crossroads

[21 Nov 2005|06:10pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I am sick as FUCK
ahhh my temp has been anywhere from 103-96 today...but it's never been at 98 of course because that would mean I wasn't sick!

But ne wayz I've had sum1 on my mind that just makes it all ok!

Happy Birthday Brittney!

3 x see you at the crossroads

Why the fuck do u guys keep singing Micheal Jackson!? [13 Nov 2005|05:32pm]
[ mood | happy ]


As for the weekend it was krunk as fuckk. Kinda weird tho because I chilled wit Jesse C who I haven't seen forever...and then the next day I went into Mc D's high and I saw like my whole life, plus two ppl I really did not want to see me fucked up and that's Ray and RC. EEEK!! I chilled wit my friend Chris as well that was fun. Awww no camp out oh well maybe next weekend. I'm really tired of running into my brother at every little house party I go to it's really odd and is a freakin BUZZ KILL. Oh yeaa and I went to Britt's little beach party. That was a neat idea to have a party that ends with watching the sun set! The water was ice! LOL apparently we really wanted Sefi to come huh Emily haha. Ohh yea how could I forget? This weekend was a Micheal Jackson theme weekend haha every 5 seconds we'd bust out with "thriller" or "Beat it" or "It doesn't matter if your black or white!" ahh good times. Ne wayyzz today is Sunday so therefore it sucks because I wake up, go to work and then go for a jog and then HW. Same shit every Sunday.


Watch her.
What is she doing now?
Smiling, that's all.
No, that's not a smile,
that's a smirk, she's planning something!
I guarantee it!
Watch her.
What is she doing now?
Exercising, that's all.
No, she's not exercising.
She's strutting for attention!
I guarantee it!
Watch her.
What is she doing now?
Talking, that's all.
No, she's lying, creating a trap!
She's controlling their minds!
I guarantee it!
Watch her.
What is she doing now?
Blinking I swear to God, that's all she's doing.
No! She's got some kind of code,
a certain number of blinks for every word!
I guarantee it!
Her life,
how it is a picture show.
She is quite humored to find,
these who give her such credit.
And as she utters a laugh,
they erupt with hushed whispers.
“That’s not a giggle, that’s a cackle!
She’s going to destroy the world!
I guarantee it!!!"

see you at the crossroads

I release the angel from my hands and watch it fly away..... [05 Nov 2005|04:16pm]

A year ago today the light still shined.
A year ago today I was fine.
A year go today my heart was unbandaged.
A year ago today I could manage...

Roy Pritchard 3/23/87-11/5/04

Today I went to visit the sight of the crash. I left him 2 poems I wrote and a Perfect Flower. The flower was symbolic to one of the poems I left called Perfect Flower. I wrote it about him when he was still alive and it sort of predicts his death....
I read them to him and then I stood in the median and cried.....

And as I walked away I told him that I loved him and that this was my final see ya later....because I finally feel like I can move on, but he will always forever be a part of me....

My Sparty.....

see you at the crossroads

To send or not to send? That is the question!! [02 Nov 2005|04:30pm]
[ mood | infuriated ]

Eh today was ok I guess. Me and Xani left school early and went to Emily's!! But today I heard something rather disturbing. Mr. Hopewell yet again, is talking crap about my family. He apparently said that we're bad neighbors blah blah blah and that I am on drugs nearly all the time. Wow that's funny. Especially since he doesn't know me nor ever see me.
Then, while I'm sitting here thinking of this I remeber when he was making fun of my brother Matthew. Matthew, bless his heart loved to play basket ball, and Mr. Hopewell said that he sucked and that he hoped Matthew wasn't trying to make a career out of it or sum shit like that. WHAT THE FUCK. Ooo let's make fun of a little kid to make our selves feel big!!

Ne ways, my mom was furious when I told her so she went to talk to him and he fucking made her cry.
Soooo I wrote this. Tell me if you think I should just let this bull shit go, or send it! Ahem.....

Dear, Lindsey

Good job making my mom cry you heartless bastard. I better not EVER again hear you spread one more lie, or one more insult about my "bad" family. If you have a problem with me say it to my face, or you can even call me about it. 524-7511. Otherwise, GROW UP.

Ps. For the record my dad is not selling illegal Government property in his garage, don't think I haven't heard that one!


Oh and one more thing. Calling an 8 year old girl "Bratney" is the most childish and despicable thing imaginable. I was crushed, and I didn't understand why a grown up would refer to me this way. I spent nights crying myself to sleep, hopefully I am not permanently damaged from the cold cruelties of a frozen heart such as yours. But then again, that was along time ago, but I decided why not bring it up? You bring up things long since forgotten all the time. Yea, don't think I can't play that game as well. See the difference is, I am just a naive child, you are supposed to be the adult. So start acting like one.

Yea, that's pretty much what my mom longed to say but, she was too busy choking on tears.
But see, causing tears seems to be a sport for you so by all means... CONGRATULATIONS.

Now that you are finished reading this you can call my parents, who by the way would be very proud of me for standing up to such a monster. OR you can come try to murder me. OR
you can ignore this and continue to act as you do. OR you can actually for once in your life by the grace of God let things go and release me from your seemingly eternal torment.

FYI- This is NOT about being friends with your daughters. This is about you insulting my family and gossiping that I’m some sort of drug addict. This most of all is about the fallen tears of a wonderful mother, who out of the goodness of her heart wanted to settle things civil. If I would have known you were going to rip her to her knees I would have gone over myself, because I am strong willed, I am out spoken, and by God I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU. Not even for a second, because I see you for the scared monstrosity that you are.

So hopefully I have made it clear that I am not going to play this game anymore.

see you at the crossroads

[01 Nov 2005|03:30pm]
Innocence refused to come with us this time.
So, we went without it.
After the smoke cleared we made our way.
It seemed as if my bones were bars of a cage,
my heart being the wild animal it contained,
it bashed rampantly up against my chest.
With mouths of sand paper,
we mumble excuses.
Clambering, stumbling, grabbing onto foreign arms flailing,
like the branches of a willow whipping in the wind.
Laughter engulfs us,
attracting glares from disappointed faces,
smeared like gloss over a ruby eyed canvas.
Dazed and completely oblivious,
smarts both book and street can’t help us now.
As flickering lights appear in the distance,
paranoia pushes us deliriously into darkness.
Clutching our eyes singed from the cruelties of light,
we try to keep them from melting down our distorted faces.
And as the shame begins to seep into a hazy mind,
we continue to descend.
You know the light at the end of the tunnel?
Can someone please turn it off?
It would make it easier for us to reach our final destination.
Innocence refused to come with us this time.
Why, oh why did we go without it?
1 x see you at the crossroads

[30 Oct 2005|08:04pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

ehh turns out I have to close tommorow. My shift is 4-10 so I can't even see like any little kids dressed up or ne thing. :( Soo last yr I did a Spanish project, and this year I'm working on Halloween. But w/e it's on a Monday. But stilllll I don't wanna effing go to work on Halloween. Grr my managers can bite me.

What a cute little night this used to be.
A night of such giddy excitement,
dressing up and getting candy galore.
Me and my brothers we were,
the infamous trio!
There was the mighty soldier, the mysterious ninja,
and I the ....the pink elephant?
I still don’t see how that fits.
Every year was a new adventure.
Pumpkin carving, story telling, hay rides, and candy corn.
I could really feel and taste the season of autumn.
All of this leading up to the night in which my church forbid me in participating in.
It was the devils night! I was 8 and even then I knew that was ridiculous.
As we get older the night of Halloween turns from cutesy to prankster.
Driving down the road whipping candy at people, when moms not looking, of course.
TPing cars and trees, and putting jack o lanterns in the street to be ran over.
There’s nothing funnier than that.
And as time passes on, we are too embarrassed to go with our parents.
So we go by foot, until our feet are raw and throbbing with pain.
And then, and then there comes the time when it all means nothing.
Going out and getting candy. Why? I have money to buy it, and besides,
I don’t really like it too much anymore.
And ooo here comes the the neighbor in a werewolf mask,
I’m soo scarred!
Honestly who has the time for such silliness?
Unless there passing out money this year, I’ve got to go to work.
I’ve got cell phone bills, insurance bills, I need money for gas, and oh yea I have those chapters to read, and that paper to write.
As I sit in my Cracker Barrel uniform reading the scarlet letter,
my heart sinks as I hear the laughter and screaming of kids outside,
thinking to myself, out of all of my Halloweens, this is the scariest of them all.

see you at the crossroads

Why do I deserve to be so lucky? [29 Oct 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | content ]

Ahh last night was crazy.
Well the first part was innocent fun with Emmmerz. lol Emmerz.
But judging by my new answering machine, it got crazy.
Ooo I'm excited. lol it never hurts just to call everyone u know.
See what happens!

Worked all day today. And now I'm gunna go try to turn some flab into ab.
lol srry my mom bought me a health mag. lol I dunno why maybe she's trying to tell me something buttt now I'm in another excersize kick.

Hmm what does tonight have in store!!?

Hit me up chickas.
ANd what are we doing Halloween?
...do ppl really wanna go trick or treating?
Cause I'm effing 17. That shits not really fun anymore.


haha omg my parents are getting dressed up for a costume party...
my dad has an afro lol

haha thnx for being on the phone wit me Taylor haha and yay he called!

2 x see you at the crossroads

[26 Oct 2005|03:01pm]
[ mood | content ]

ladeda wut is there to say!?
Life is goin good. Brittney is a tall beast. eMiLy is superfantastic! High times wit Xani the best driver in the world!! Whoa theres Dick again! Taylor loves me and only me! lol ne wayzzz on a more serious note, MEOWWW STEEEVEEE!

ooo I'm excited about the literary mag!!

Amusing how amusing,
this grimace, oh it's a smile.
How delightful, how did I know?
And while you are crawling back,
let me give you a good kick in the face.
Life is so ironic.


2 x see you at the crossroads

[17 Oct 2005|04:56pm]


Ahh still recovering from a crazy ass weekend...sooo tired, and now i must go to work! GROAN!
2 x see you at the crossroads

[14 Oct 2005|12:37pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Good times last night watching ppl beat the hell out of a car. Eh I have to work tonight so I'm probably gunna miss most of the game! :( That sux because I'm actually all into school spirit! Ne wayz can't wait till Saturday!

Recent;ly inspired work....


Ice queen.

So intensely freezing.

She watches me with frozen lifeless eyes.

If you get close enough you can hear the crick crack of her ice incrusted black hole of a heart.

Her breath is so below a merely survivable temperature that even glaciers of dry ice suffer.

With the coldest intentions she watches me with slyness,

sly like the first snowflakes of winter.

And then suddenly her envious bitterness which had crowned her queen of all things cold multiplies into a swirling blizzard of words and glares like daggers.

This blizzard destroys eardrums with screeching screaming like ice cycles scraped along a fogged frozen window pane.

And I suffer.

Her frozen evil engulfs me.

Coating my eyes with thin ice along with my soul…

But I do NOT freeze solid!

I will NOT be a minion in her arctic court!

My rebellion from letting her sub zero heart poison mine is my warmth.

This keeps me warm enough to make me immune to her icy blood of bitterness, jealousy, rejection, and anti-love in which she tries to inject.

The ice thickens on her eyes as she viciously blames me for who she has become.

And as I brush the snow off I say to her,

“You were cold all along….”


see you at the crossroads

[12 Oct 2005|09:59pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Some people wish for the stars above,
I wish everyone could be in love...


Is it the weekend yet!?

see you at the crossroads

What else would I reach for? [10 Oct 2005|10:17pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Have a good time on ur trip Emily!!!
I'm going to miss you... *starts to sob out of control*

LOL WElllll I'm very excited about my retro day outfit! And I'm excited about the pimp cup I made and I'm just in general excited about things to come! Yay! I dunno if I'll call out of work for the homecomming game...I really wanna go so I can see Matty win Prince!!

Eh I gotta go!! But I would like to say I was excited about my freakin 88 on my essay in Crazy Mexican Mans class! It's sooo hard to get that I even got an applause thats a first for a grade on something!

Bye love love love love!

Can't wait fo Saturday I'll try to get the details on that!

see you at the crossroads

And still I love you [08 Oct 2005|10:11pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Susan says that I should just move on

You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone

Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day

1 x see you at the crossroads

Uh huh, okay, wut's up? Shut up! [06 Oct 2005|04:25pm]
Ahh the Poetry slam was great. I didn't place, no biggie atleast I made it into the final 5. I'm such a crazy loon I can't believe I sang! But u gotta do what u gotta do to create the right effect.But all I gotta say is we have some talented ppl at LRHS. We have comics, drama queens, and little Eminems! Ah!

Sooo I'm going to work. Don't really have any plans fo da weekend so hit me up, so we can chill inbetween the million shifts that I must work!

Life is hectic.
But life is good!

Even your smile looks like a frown............
see you at the crossroads

ah the randomness of it all [03 Oct 2005|10:00pm]
[ mood | content ]

Sometimes life just isn't supposed to make sense

I found myself tryin to relive in tha past so I don't have to face reality, but then again the reality isn't so bad.

Everybody around me is soooo drugged up, if u can't beat em join em right. Nah just kiddin kuz'z but this weekend was so fun. So much shit went down I ain't even gunna try to write it.

But still I always leave with deep concern cuz everytime the drugs are gettin worse...
1st it's alchol,then pot, then crack, now extasy, wuts next?

And now back to my life. My life seems so boring and average when I come back from that craziness but it's ok cause I'm happy!

ahhh tryin to get my grades up this week! thennn
Homecomming next week! yay!
Poetry slam this thursday like I said...but I don't expect to win or nuttin cause there are some reeeallly good slammers this year I've seen em.
And it ain't like me to be one of the best at anything lol

hmm this weekend I got hit on by a lezbian and it wasn't weird at all.
She was cool as fuck.

lol ah crazy crazy crazy.

I'm outtie.

Remeber keep ya heads up

1 x see you at the crossroads

[30 Sep 2005|10:55pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I'm at Chelsey's house yay! She's out gettin the ingredients to Krunkness!

I just wanna say I freakin loved my B-day presant EMILY!! And thnx for the mula Brittney!

I have the greatest friends, and that's what makes like ok!

Cell phone # bitches!

524 7511

Aww by the time I get home all my cake will be gone! :(

6 x see you at the crossroads

We don't shed tears we shed blood, do you still wanna be a thug!?!? [28 Sep 2005|05:53pm]
[ mood | content ]

Severed soul from existence
Stolen heart with no resistance
Sound silenced sucked from song
Will lost from spirit so strong
Tears not lost but lust and life
Happiness converted into strife
Energy dismembered in grave yearning
Lessons tough but I am learning
Heart hurting must remain calm
Trembling,sweating,clammy palms
Time mends shredded heart to accept
I've moved on but my love is kept
Forever my soul will bare a scar
When I was failed by my wishing star...

see you at the crossroads

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